30 to Midnight

Robert at the Museum of Arts and Design, West Side

Friday, 8pm

Robert
museum of arts and design
2 Columbus Circle (8th Ave.), Manhattan

Generally we limit our ageism to justabouteveryoneyounger. Today we're expanding our range. The crowd at Robert, the neon-y restaurant with the insane view of Columbus Circle and the park, is really old. Really old, like bus from a nursing home old. Why? Such an unexpected Friday night site. You'd see what we were saying if Sara could ever learn to take a picture. We wanted to sit by a window and never look back, but those seats were taken and the "bar" is awkward, unexpected in a venue with "design" in its name. We hate to be so negative but our expectations were not met here. Sad. That said, true to our rules, we're calling Robert AA. Stop by if you're looking for someone to call gran.

NYC Firemen Rule

How have we never seen such a sight before? Fireman climbed right up (see below; amazing we caught that; too bad about that big blonde noggin in the way). Six stories up. Three buildings evacuated, including someone who was clearly showering (dripping hair, overcoat). We've thought about that. Haven't you?

Manhattan's Bravest

Is it more amazing that a fire rescue is happening (Amsterdam Ave, btwn 79-80) or that a woman pitched her cigarette into the water spilling from the just opened pump? Crossed the sidewalk to contribute to pollution.

Buceo 95, Upper West Side

Friday, 7:30pm

Buceo 95
201 W. 95th Street (Amsterdam Ave.), Manhattan

Some of our friends are smart. Okay, most of our friends are smart. We like it when they teach us things like: buceo means diving. And we like it even more when we go to Buceo 95 with them after having $2.50 Miller Lites during happy hour at Dive 75. Get it? We went from Dive to Diving. Okay, we didn't actually drink Miller Lite, though we do often have them at ballgames, but only because we like Milwaukee and hotgirlswrestling. Part of that statement is true.

Anyway, we found Buceo 95 to be both Age Appropriate and enjoyable. The sommelier was all over us for our first round. He generously poured mini tastings before we committed to our quartinos. Then he disappeared, later appearing at the corner of the bar chatting up a woman for the better part of the night; that means hours. A waiter handled our next round. We ordered half our food from runners. What's a title anyway? 

You probably know that Casa Mono alum Brian Parks runs the kitchen here. He was absent the night we ate Piquillos Rellenos con Queso, Pimientos Fritos, Calamares a la plancha y Romesco, Morcilla con Huevos, Jamon Serrano, y tres Quesos, but we were happy with what we were served. In fact, we experienced amor for the charred squid. So bilingual at 30toMedianoche.

Buceo 95 is a find and a keep, but be prepared to spend.
Last thing, though too oaky for us, there's an interesting viura on the current list (López de Heredia). Maybe you know that white grape as macabeo. Either way, this one is unique (not that we're rioja experts).

The Parlour, Upper West Side

Saturday, 7:30pm

The Parlour
250 West 86th Street, Manhattan

Weekend afternoon and evenings can mean post-Zog, which you know skews AI, but happy hours and nights here are mostly AA. The food's decent at this Irish Pub and Restaurant, and it's not impossible to get on a pool table. Why does that sound negative? It's not. Go to the Parlour to watch soccer, baseball, etc and hang with Age Appropriate peers. 

Nicholas Roerich Museum, Upper West Side

Friday, 2pm

Nicholas Roerich Museum
319 W 107th St. (West End Ave.), Manhattan

You've been to the Met Roof Garden (and, presumably, the Met itself), but have you visited the Nicholas Roerich Museum? We bet not. Well, go. Even if you never heard of the Russian-born artist until this moment it's a treat to wander the lovely building, regard the hundreds of paintings, and consider Roerich's conviction that art is a path to peace, like world peace, like the world would be a better place if we were more culturally evolved. 

In the fall and winter, the museum hosts readings and classical music concerts (generally Sunday, 5pm). It should not surprise you to know these events are Age Appropriate. It should surprise you to know that this June the museum was robbed. 

Update: One of the two stolen paintings was returned via mail to the museum the day we ran this post.

St John the Divine, Upper West Side

Friday, 3pm

St. John the Divine Cathedral
1047 Amsterdam Ave. (110th St.), Manhattan

We love this city, and as much as we poke fun at tourists (and generally attempt to avoid them while appreciating their spent dollars), we sometimes have to play tourist ourselves (outside of bars). The Catherdral of St. John the Divine is one of many incredible local playgrounds. Musical events are generally Age Appropriate here, or everyone acts AA. This is a venue that commands Appropriateness. We like that. Walk through (during an event or not) and you'll know exactly what we mean.

Cathedral open 7am-6pm, Monday-Saturday, 7am-7pm Sunday (6pm in July and August)
Grounds and Gardens open during daylight hours

P&G Bar, Upper West Side

Saturday, 10pm

P&G Bar
380 Columbus Ave. (78th St.), Manhattan

Not to be confused with the actual P&G Bar (279 Amsterdam Ave. at 73rd St., closed) this P&G bar is the unfortunate reincarnation, now alive and unwell in the former Evelyn Lounge space. Got that? So...it's Age Appropriate in here, but there's also UFC playing on the flat screen TV's against the exposed concrete walls. That's all we're saying, out of respect for the dead (and we don't mean that guy at the end of the bar).

Jake's Dilemma, Upper West Side

Saturday, 10:15pm

Jake's Dilemma
430 Amsterdam Ave. (81st St.), Manhattan

We’re trying here. We really are. But somehow we engaged with the most Age INappropriate boys on the Upper West Side…and perhaps on the island of Manhattan. It all started on the right track: one sign in the window announced John’s 31st Birthday Party, another directed guests to a Bachelor Party (basement), Pearl Jam was blaring, there were plenty of stools at the bar, an extraordinary beer selection, and the scene was more or less Age Appropriate.

A threesome approached.
Sara: You guys with the bachelor or the birthday?
White T-shirt: We're in the army. (He put his arm around her. It felt good. Too good. Something wasn't right.)
Third Guy: If I give you money can you buy me a beer? The bartender cut me off. 

Hmmm. We knew we shouldn't continue, but we had so many questions: How did that happen? (out of control arm-wrestling). Where are your uniforms? (home). How do you know each other (two met the Third that night playing Flippy Cups). And, most importantly, how old are you?

The Third claimed to be 28. He walked away after we teased him about being a farmer from Iowa and refused to buy him that beer. The other two were on a getaway from West Point(!), and had to be back by 7pm the next day. As for their ages, they were—wait for it—19 years old (insert scratching of record here).

Obviously we immediately demanded to see their fake ID's, documents that deemed them Hispanic and born in 1987(!), which Short Guy claimed made him 23.

Short Guy: How old are you? Are you going to ditch us?
Sara: (pulling herself away from White T-shirt) Yes.
Short Guy: How old are you? There’s no way you’re older than 25.

And on that note, we dashed to the door.

Dive 75, Upper West Side

Saturday, 9:40pm

Dive 75
101 W. 75th St. (Columbus Ave.), Manhattan.

Nine years ago Sara found $50 at this so-called dive. Not much has changed, though the floors were cash-free. Mellow, Age Appropriate, balanced-gender crowd playing board games, watching baseball, and regarding the fish in the glowing tank. We like.